In today’s cut throat world all of us are driven by success and each one of us wants to climb the corporate ladder to the top as fast as possible. Rightly so as the world is judging you by every minute, every second, every post and every story. The peer pressure in today’s world is the biggest killer – like it or not. While we all chase the so-called success, the bigger car, the bigger flat, club memberships, etc. we are unaware about the price we pay for being there and doing that.
While this mirage that we chase is illusive and can vanish with a blink of an eye. I suggest to build a more concrete foundation to remain afloat in today’s dynamic, ever-changing world. Here are a few virtues, I feel will help you build that foundation. While the list is not exhaustive, it can be a good starter.
PERSONAL FINANCE:
While finance play’s a major role in success, I am sure that many do not have an understanding of managing money. I have talked to many young, middle aged, Junior, Senior people in good positions and yet have no grip on how the money works. Unfortunately, this most important life skill is not taught in any formal university. I am not an expert in this domain but I am sharing my acquired knowledge on the same.
You be in any position, stage or elevation in your career, your savings or investments are the only reality. Not your CTC, not your bonuses, not your possessions. So, when you are in your hay days keep aggressively investing. I would only highlight points that you should be considering on personal finance to save yourself from the landmines.
- Build a 3-month salary as your contingency fund. This is the first priority, your safety net.
- Take a Term Insurance & Health Insurance at the earliest. At early stage this looks to be wastage but I personally believe that safety should be an important priority. In today’s world a simple hospitalisation could need lakhs and that derails your progress.
- Do not fall prey to quick rich schemes, speculative trading, lottery, etc. Wealth is made with calculated risk; blunders are made when you rush to take risks.
- Keep focus on your needs – question 3 times for any buy which is more than 10% of your monthly salary. I do not advice to be a miser but surely practice discretion.
- Never go beyond 30% of monthly salary for Total EMI’s even if the eligibility is 55+%. This will keep you in safe zone for any mishaps. Life is very uncertain; it hits when it’s least anticipated.
This is not an exhaustive list and if you have any additions, please feel free to share in the comments box.
HEALTH:
Though this comes second in my list, its not the second priority. One should always keep health as the outmost priority. And by health I do not only mean physical, this should cover physical, mental, social, etc. while discussing with quite some professionals I realised that stress is rapidly becoming a buzz word. Whether it is because of job timings or politics at work or peer pressure, the reasons are many but result is one Burn Out. Now we might not be able to dodge these issues but we can surely find a way through them to safe guard our mental sanctity. Now I am aware that there is no One size fits all solution to this. But let’s have a look at a few pointers that work for me in managing myself.
- Try keeping yourself away from one-to-one comparison. E.g. He and I were at same level now look at him / he was my junior in some company and now he is at this position / he owns a penthouse or specific brand car or his kid’s study in ivy league college or he has expensive club membership. All these are just pressure builders. No one knows the other person’s journey yet everyone just compares start to current situation. Refrain from the same and you will be very happy. There are no free lunches – if you achieved something you surely sacrificed something. I strongly believe that Life is a Great Leveller.
- Learn to say NO. Very often the reasons of our own anxiety are our own decisions. Do not expect life to be fair – it’s not. You have to figure out your priorities and say NO to what does not fall in that list. We keeping saying yes to all some times motivated by the raise or promotion, sometimes driven by the fear of losing the job or any other vulnerability. But future is very uncertain. You can only control present so do that. Do what needs to be done today.
- Keep some time for Self-Growth & Family. Learn from kids, they are always happy when they are doing things that they love, with people they like. Human needs are very similar. Prioritise family time and self-time. Even a small walk in the park with your partner or best friend relieves the tension of entire week. A small chat with some one you love to talk to will refresh you. Find things that Re-Charge you and the keep repeating them.
- Another action that breeds stress is living too much in Past or Future. Refrain from the same. A study by Cornell University suggests 85% of things we worry about never happen in real life. You also can not change the past. So, take one step at a time and stay in present. If you analyse your past, you will find only regrets. Remember the famous dialogue of Morpheus from Matrix Reloaded when they come out from meeting the trafficker of information Merovingian “Whatever happened, happened and could not have happened any other way”. Trust the Universe.
- Remember “Action Defeats Stress & Anxiety. Stress & anxiety feed on lethargy”. So, stay active. Whenever you feel that you are getting stressed or anxious, pick yourself up and go for a run or walk or hit the gym or play with kids, etc. Do some activity – this will keep you healthy both physically and mentally.
SKILLS:
We all get paid for the skills we attain over life time, not for the degrees or positions or possessions. We all are paid for what value we bring to table. Whether its job or business or any other engagement. Way of payment can vary, the currency could be money or attention or respect or etc. but if you do not add value, you will be sidelined. What is important is staying relevant in current times.
- As you age and move up the ladder, the best skill you can attain is to Unlearn & Relearn. World is changing fast and it is a lot of work to stay abreast if you carry the baggage of your old thoughts, old ways, and rudimentary thinking. Get rid of what does not suit today’s requirements, make space for new, learn what keeps you aligned with today’s world.
- Study the people in positions you want to be in. Their job responsibilities, demands of their jobs, there skills, there schedules and try working along those lines. Learn what you do not know, unlearn whatever is not needed. Often times when we look from below, we feel the jobs at the top are quite easy, but its not that way. As they say “Heavy lies the head that wears the crown”. Respect the position – you cannot achieve what you despise, instead grow your knowledge, attain the needed skills, be worthy without the title and it will come to you.
- Normally we have a habit to cursing the younger generations but that has not helped. It did not help when we were the younger generation and it will not help even today. So, get used to the norm of new replacing the old. Be the guide you never had, to this young generation. You have your skills they have their agility. Try channelling this in the right direction. Be the mentor not the Boss. The Organisations will crave you and your colleagues will love you. It does not take much effort to understand others and align accordingly.
COMMUNICATION:
Humans become the most dominant species on earth due to communication. But in current times its more imperative to hone and sharpen this skill. While there can be a completely new blog on communication, its types, its impacts etc. But here I will just focus on communication in broader sense. While I will not delve in the written communication as reading will help you in getting it better, I would like to focus on inter-personal communication.
You may be a genius but if you are unable to have a conversation with others, you will be left to dry. So, make yourself conversant with ways of interactions with others. Conversations at different level have to be different, you can not discuss same topics with kids as you do with teenagers or your age people or the elderly. So just focus on following aspects:
- Be conversant of the current events – you do not need to follow the same to the T. But be conversant. Whether its Cricket or Wimbledon or Politics or Geo-Politics, stay abreast with latest happenings.
- Conversation is best when it happens at the level of the one you are having it with. If its kids, it should be as it happens between to kids, when it is with the Business Leader it should be like two business leaders are talking.
- 3 aspects are very important in interpersonal communication. Topic, Expectations, Responsibility. Communication should always address these. What is topic of discussion, what are your and others’ expectations and finally what is the action plan with responsibility and timeline.
- Communication has to be assertive and all encompassing. It should address everyone involved & their needs in the communication.
You can surely have some more points in this and I would love to hear them in the comments box. Please feel free to add your experiences.
Last but not the least
GIVE BACK:
We all take a lot from others, our society, our relatives, mother earth, etc. but we often postpone our give back. Focus on your contributions to all of these. Whether its your time or monetary or influence, etc. in whatever way you can give back you should. Even the smallest act of kindness like donating the old toys to road side dwellers or donating groceries to an old age home or spending time with the elderly in a park, etc. whatever suits you will be welcome. World is drifting apart due to technology and speed of lives; we tend to forget that we also will grow old and we also would be in need of support. So, while you can contribute – do so. It also keeps you light and humbled. We always feel our troubles are bigger than the world, this gives you an opportunity to know other people and their struggles up close. This will also bring you calm and you might just start appreciating what you have.
So, just to reflect on what we discussed: to have a wholesome life one can focus on remaining healthy physically and mentally, attaining requisite skills to stay relevant, have strong control on the personal finances, work on bettering the communication and practice giveback.
Hope this article helps you improve your quality of life.
Please do comment on what impact this has had on your life.
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